Flash Fact: Fans Are Dicks! Or: My Love Letter to the Dudes Who've Kept Me Sane

Whereas a colleague of mine is doing a piece on the film industry, I'm gonna tell you what-for about comics fans.

Now, most fans are pretty normal dudes like myself. I like to go and read my comics and I like to casually discuss it.

I don't like to rip on the men and women and anythings in between who make them if they aren't total assholes.

However you wanna interpret that dude's comment, Dan Slott was treated pretty unfairly by that guy. Was Slott's response too much? I say no. Guy was pissed and thanks to the internet, he could pretty quickly and publicly tell the dude off. Everybody deserves to tell people to shut the hell up!

Next case: James Robinson. His run on Starman is absolutely amazing. I dare you to find someone who didn't love the exploits of Jack Knight. But, "fans" have ripped him apart for Cry for Justice. Admittedly, it's not his strongest work. I'll say that much. But is it the worst thing I've read? Is it really worth all the constant bitching and moaning? Meh, not really.

And, the fact that a lot of fans seem to miss and others seem to focus a lot on, is that Cry for Justice and stories like it are editorially-mandated and often jacked with and messed with by a lot of people who aren't the writer. The same thing happens with film scripts all the time. Is it as terrible as the film industry can occasionally be though? Not a clue.

My point being is that most guys need to chill out. Just because you've got an internet connecting and a semi-anonymous connection to the world, doesn't give you the right to be a massive tool. I'm all for constructive criticism, but constantly nagging and whinging (Typo, but I'm pretty sure this is a real word. It was in X-Factor) is pretty grating.

Remember that tough guy who handed Rob Liefeld a copy of "How to Draw Comics" from Lee and Buscema? That's dick. No two ways about it. Now, Liefeld isn't the world's most amazing artist, but the dude has made leaps and bounds and his style is noticeably nicer-looking than his ultra-popular 90s look.  The fact that he's actually a pretty nice guy makes that kid seem like a pretty big ass.

Once again, if the guys who I would potentially rip apart were assholes, I'd have no qualms. But, a lot of these writers and artists seem really nice and they put up with an ungodly amount of shit from a fanbase that has a pretty bad reputation. Mainly that the general public is pretty sure all comic fans are straight outta the Big Bang Theory, which is just an awful misconception.

But once again, every fanbase has the crazy yahoos that ruin it for everyone. Are all Twilight fans crazed loony girls with a bad case of fucked in the head syndrome? Hardly. Are all Star Trek fans socially inept and painfully sad? Nope. Are all football fans rioting every time their team loses? Nein! Not all fans are crazed dickwads. Most are pretty normal. It's a bunch of outspoken douches who ruin the image for a lot of the rest of us.

As my fellow blogger Ranka knows, the crazy Kingdom Hearts fans make it unbearable to even be considered a casual fan of that series.

Damn, I got a little off topic. I think that little tirade was supposed to show you... something. Can't remember what though. It's late, I'm tired and I'm having some very pleasantly confusing thoughts.

Any and all writers, artists and all around people who are more famous than I: Not all fans are rabid, vicious douchnozzles. Even if I don't like a particular story you've put out, or a lot of people don't like it. Don't take it as a sign that everyone's complaining or that everyone hates you. That's my biggest fear, as a reader, that all my favorite writers and artists think all think all their fans are dicks.

So, as a fan who has literally been saved from boredom by comics, detective novels and all around awesome things: Thanks. Seriously. Thank. YOU. If I had no comics, no novels, no anime, no cartoons, no nothing. I would be bored as fuck. Or I might be a jock or something.

PS. Funny story. About a month ago on campus, I saw honest-to-God nerds. Like, with pocket protectors, nutty haircuts and huge glasses. It was after Halloween too, so I'm sure they weren't costumes. It took every fiber of my being not to steal a letterman jacket and scream "NERDS!!".

Okay, I'm actually done now. I'm so damn tired.

TRON: Legacy Derezzed My Pants

Tron: Legacy was a pretty schway film. I have a few gripes, but they're pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.

VFX: The original Tron still looks pretty good for its age. With the improvements in CG, this really does look like fantastic. This whole damn movie looks fantastic.

Fights: Really well-choreographed fight scenes. This and Scott Pilgrim had some of the best fight scenes from an American movie that I'd seen this entire year.

Soundtrack: Daft Punk. They did the whole score, but only about half the tracks really sound like Daft Punk songs. That's one of the gripes right there. Half the tracks are awesome techo songs and the rest are kind of bland.

Cast: Garret Hedlund plays Sam Flynn, our protagonist. He certainly did a good job, but he was kind of overshadowed by Jeff Bridges and Olivia Wilde. I was surprised with Wilde's performance. She was just adorable, which I was expecting an "action girl" type. And Jeff Bridges didn't reprise his role of Kevin Flynn, he was the Dude. The Dude in a damn Jedi robe. Too cool. Cillian Murphy's cameo was pretty surprising and welcome. Bruce Boxleitner is always good too. Always kind of wondered why he never had a bigger career, he's actually a really good actor.

Reverence: There were a lot of scenes that were shot in the same style as one's from the original TRON. Like when Sam broke into EMCOM Tower through the "big door", the escape from the Game Grid, and the ending itself to name a few.

Syd Mead: He contributed a new lightcycle design that was briefly used in the film. I like him so much he gets his own positive category. His art and designs are just so pretty.

Tron: Like in the last film, Tron's not really the main character. At best, he's a plot device in this one. He doesn't really have much of a presence. I mean, yes he's in it. But I was kind of hoping he would be swayed back to the side of good before the last five minutes.

Setup: It was sort of obvious that someone was hoping this would lead to a Tron 3. Cillian Murphy's cameo, Tron's fate, the ending in general, it was kind of obvious that more is hopefully coming. These were just loose ends.

Blackness: The fact that everything was black except for those white/red lines on things made things a little disorienting when things started moving fast. Maybe it was just the 3D or the IMAX screen, I don't know. It wasn't bad, it was just slightly disorienting.

At the end of the day, this movie's pretty accessible for folks who haven't seen the original Tron, but it's definitely made for the fans of the original.

I've Been Busy (Well, Lazy) - But No More.

That's right faithful followers (All 3 of you)! It's time for another exciting installment of Der Raging Panzer! When we last left our hero, the insufferable ZeroBuster, he was making all kinds of outrageous claims about actually doing something here. For months, there was nothing. Now? He's here to make good on those seemingly-outlandish claims!

Also! He's got a Twitter now! The Twitter account will henceforth be devoted to serving the needs of Der Panzer. Or at least attempting to.

But now, our feature presentation...

Since I don't quite have a definite amount of time at the moment to do what I want to do (Post a short story or two) You'll have to settle for a scintillating tale from the vault. The Mind Vault.

Let's discuss what I've been reading lately. I've been on a total Superman/Legion trip lately. Good God have I been reading Superman. I've also been on an all-around Warren Ellis/Grant Morrison ride too. Also Sandman. Sand Hawkins needs his own miniseries or something. Seriously.

So, yeah. That's some fascinating stuff. A true "cool story", eh trusty readers?

NEW Kingdom Hearts ~ Initial Impressions

Gonna be a quick one folks, since I am tired as hell.

- Amazing graphics for the PSP. Looks just as nice, if not nicer in some respects, than Kingdom Hearts II.
- Pretty good voice cast
- Bibbity Bobbitty boo or whatever is the worst choice for background music ever
- Combat is amazingly fun
- Leonard Nemoy and Mark Hammil. Shit's beyond cash.
- Most of the worlds feel short (I know that's cause of the whole three character deal, but it seems like you don't get to do enough sometimes)

Also, my initial impressions of the re: CODED stuff.
- Why didn't the graphics get a better update? 358/2 Days looked better than this.

And that's my initial impression.

TGS had some neat stuff this year, I guess. Not-Devil May Cry, Square making shooters, new Steel Battalion (For kinect, so no awesome controller? Why remove the coolest aspect of the game?). I still haven't heard anything about Kojima's supposed big reveal he had planned.

Night fellas.

Spandex Fetish: The Transforming Face of Der Panzer

I dunno about you, but I've always imagined Raging Panzer less as a traditional tank, and more of the sort that Treasure, Takara or Smart Brain would think up to thwart the hero of the piece, one with many different strengths, weapons, abilities and crippling construction errors; and for the sake of argument, let's assume it had faces. While Zero would form the main face, the big boss, el jefe, sempai and whatnot, HBK would be the one that retreated in to the main body to occasionally fire off a particularly powerful attack. And me? Well, I'd be the non-functioning decorative face only there to add detail.

But not for much longer! Now with renewed intent, Rankarana is setting off on yet another quest: to bring an almighty ‘HENSHIN!’ to the overly embellished metaphorical tank! Our new line of articles, Spandex Fetish, will explore... well, mostly Kamen Rider, but also some other toku and transforming heroes, for your delight and delectation, especially with the big lineup ahead of us.

OOO is starting very, very soon (expect to see some opinions and discussion on that, especially if we can finally do some roundtabling) while Goseiger is... continuing on its' way. Den-O's three-movie trilogy has yet to see DVDs or subs, we've still got the curious Saban buy-back of Power Rangers, and what's stopping us discussing, umm... Zebraman? Not to mention reflections on some of the classics, as well as mockery/adoration of Toshiki Inoue, looks at toku-influenced anime, and maybe even hot Rider x Rider fanfiction.

...One of those won't be happening.

Anyway, Spandex Fetish might actually motivate me to work for more than five seconds, so make sure you keep your eyes peeled for the first henshin of a new legend, when I'll be taking a look at the first episode (presuming it's subbed in a timely manner and not by a certain group of kisamas) of Kamen Rider OOO and hopefully enjoying it, while convincing those around me that Ankh is indeed a man. Probably.

Until next time, ends just stay alive the ride the mean!

Scott Pilgrim VS My High Standards.

So, I saw Scott Pilgrim VS The World at the midnight showing. All in all, I enjoyed the movie. Even if I was up to my balls in hipsters in the theater. First off, I'd just like to say that I may or may not have missed out on ten or so minutes of the movie. There was a skip and no one could really tell if it was intentional or not, so.... My knowledge may be incomplete. As usual, stuff I like comes first.

The cast in this is amazing. This movie had one of the best casts I've seen in a long time. Everyone not only looked the part, but they acted the part too. Even Michael Cera... Most of the time at least. He kept alternating between Scott and Michael Cera. Kieran Culkin stole the show as Wallace Wells. Seriously, I could not imagine him as Wallace at all until he spoke. Allison Pill made a a hilarious and sexy Kim Pine, and Ellen Wong might just be the cutest thing to ever go on a movie screen. It was also nice to see Brandon Routh again. I love that guy and he cracked me up in this one. All of the Evil Exes were great though. Like I said, fantastic cast.

There's a rad cameo by Thomas Jane as well. Seriously, this movie has Superman, The Punisher and Captain America/Human Torch. Nearly as impressive as how many action stars are in The Expendables, no?

Next is the soundtrack. All I really need to say, for me at least, is that it has exclusive songs by Beck. I'm such a massive fan of his it's not even funny. The score was perfect for the tone of the film though. Lots of classic rock, indie rock, and some pretty cool techno stuff too. The soundtrack is definitely a winner in my book.

Visually, the movie is one of the best I've seen in a long time. The flashback scenes are all told using panels from the comic, and they kept Scott's ratings for everyone. Stuff from the comics like the sound effects, the pee meter, and the coins were all kept. The fight scenes were also very nice-looking. Unlike some other big blockbuster that also featured a high-profile director, Edgar Wright knows how to do a great action scene.

And it's very faithful to the comic. Even the stuff that wasn't in the comic would've felt right at home in the comic. In my opinion, the fights with Lucas Lee and the Katayanagi twins were better in the movie than they were in the comic. The fight with Roxie even had stuff from the Free Comic Day issue. There was also a Battle of the Bands plot added that I dug too. Didn't really affect the story too much, but it set up the fight with Ken and Kyle.

And there was a ton of stuff cut, but it wasn't anything that hampered the film. There were side characters cut, but they kept nearly all of them. The only really big omissions were Knives' dad and Lisa Miller, and those would have been a bit too much in a film that already had a big cast. Unlike The Last Airbender, they kept characters who weren't in the main four or so.

Now I gotta deal with what I didn't like.... mutter mumble mutter gripe.


The pacing was just a bit much. It wasn't as condensed as I thought it'd be, but there was a lot of stuff in this movie. I mean, the movie adapts the whole damn series. So some of the stuff (Namely a lot of the non-fight stuff) seems a bit rushed sometimes. I kinda wish they did it as a series of animated films instead. Or at least two live action films.

And that's really my only beef with the movie really. Does a shitty, bandwagon-jumper fanbase count as a gripe?

But I digress, Edgar Wright's got a winner here. I don't think it's his best film (That's Hot Fuzz), but it's a hell of a film. I'm giving it an 8/10.

The Best Comic-Based Shows That Don't Exist Yet.

The following post was inspired by a late night conversation on an IRC chat.

But first, I'd like to think Jeff Parker for the free, signed copy of the Incredible Hercules VS Amazing Spider-Man: Assault on New Olympus issue. That and my latest issue of The Onion are the two best things to find in my mailbox.

And now to the point: Here are my ideas for some awesome series based on comics.

1. The Elongated Man: A slick detective series in the same vein as Psych or Monk, but slightly less humorous. Or Murder She Wrote, but he stretches? Focus on Ralph's detective aspect and maybe not his superheroics. He'd still be dealing with super-crime though. Not mundane cases or anything like that. As long as they avoid any mentioning of Sue's rape, then this'd be an awesome show. Also, don't make Ralph a tool like he was on JLU.

2. Gotham Central: Show how regular cops deal with things in a world full of super-beings. A straight-up adaptation would be awesome, but you could deal with members of other police forces on occasion, I think. Like, say someone winds up dead in Metropolis or Opal City or something, but the M.O. fits one of Batman's foes, so GCPD dispatches Montoya and Allen to aid in the investigation.

3. Nextwave: Agents of Hate: I'm not going to lie. I've thought about this one a lot. Give it a high animation budget and put it on adult swim, HBO or Comedy Central. Make it look very true to Immonen's art and get Ellis onboard. Let Ellis write original episodes to extend it, because twelve issues isn't a lot to go on for a series.

4. JLI/Blue and Gold Power Hour: Either give me a cartoon about the JLI, or a cartoon where Booster and Ted go around fighting crime. There'd be PSAs at the end of either of these.

5. X-Factor Investigations/Madrox: I'd love to see Madrox as he is now portrayed on the small screen. Keep the roster small if you it's X-Factor; Don't bog it down with tons of obscure characters. Just focus on say, Madrox, Banshee, Strong Guy and Rahne. Once again, focus on the detective aspect and not the superhero part.


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Here's a few ideas that are presented in jest. They are only here for my, and presumably your, amusement.


1. Like Madmen, but it's about all the billionaires and CEOs in the DCU. Lex Luthor, Max Lord, Bruce Wayne, Ted Kord and such. Absolutely nothing exciting, it's just them talking business.

2. Make a show about that fat white dude with the power to turn into a buff black guy for an hour. You know, the dude that called that hour "C.P.T."?

3. This one is half-joking/half serious, but Gundam Sousei. Seriously, the highly-dramatized story of the making of the original Gundam anime. I'd watch the hell out of this show.

4. Make a Doctor Fate series, but base it on the 90s version, "Fate".

5. Silver Age Batman/Silver Age Superman (But only the bad parts). Batman: The Brave and the Bold showed off all of the fun of the Silver Age of comics, with none of the awful parts (Racism, incredibly inconsistent characterization, Superman being a massive tool, Batman just doing batshit insane things all the time, etc.), so this would be all those bad parts. It would be sure to offend everyone.

Feels Good, Man. Feels Good.

Here's a few rapid-fire reviews to keep up the theme.

Scott Pilgrim Vol. 6: Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour- The ending seemed a little off? But otherwise this was a great conclusion to a fantastic series. It's been a fun journey, you know? O'Malley's really made leaps and bounds as both an artist and a writer. And this volume really helped me work through a personal problem that I was having at the time, so that was cool.

Inception: Easily one of the best movies I've seen this year. It's probably Chris Nolan's best film to date. Fantastic visuals, great cast and an awesome twist on a classic genre of film. One of the few heavily hyped, heavily marketed movies that really lived up to the hype. For me, at least.

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And now, for something- Naw, I'm not gonna use that line. But I am considering doing something different from what I've been doing. I'm more than likely going to start posting short stories and terrible poems, straight from the neurotic mind of ZeroBuster. As a writing major, it seems like something to do. Get some feedback from the helpful staff and (Loyal? Small? Nonexistent?) fanbase at Der Panzer.

So yeah. Expect some crummy stuff from a shabby Creative Writing major. Coming soon. Maybe.

So.... The Last Airbender was pretty terrible...

It is. It's easily Shamyanldingdong's worst movie. It's waaaay worse than Lady in the Water. I mean it. It makes Lady in the Water look like Forrest fucking Gump.

The main thing is the writing. The dialogue is awkward-sounding that it makes even the two good actors in this film (Patel and Toub) look bad. The pacing's pretty crappy too. I mean, the movie is an hour and a half. This needed to be around three. So, as a result of the film's meager length, there's a ton of montages, narration and the removal of all side-characters. Even the really important ones like Suki, Jet and all the dudes who were holed up in the air temple. This movie violated the golden rule of storytelling: Show, don't tell. He does a shitload of telling and not nearly enough showing.

The acting really was just another thing to add to the pile. No one really seemed to be trying, except for Patel and especially Shaun Toub. His Iroh is also the only character that even remotely resembles his counterpart from the series. Not so much in appearance, but how he acts. Seychelle Gabriel also did a fine job as Yue. Also, why was Sokka a badass? He didn't become a badass until Book 3. This movie so desperately needed some kind of comedic relief.

Have you ever seen that episode of Family Guy, where Peter goes to see a really boring and depressing play and he just screams "For God's sake, somebody throw a pie!". That's how I felt watching this. It's so gloomy, angsty and depressing. All the fun that was in the series just isn't here.

Shamwow really can't direct an action scene worth a damn either. Whoever was in charge of fight choreography should've been shot. The movements were so long and drawn out and the bending that said movements brought out was usually pretty dinky compared to how elaborate the motions were. In short, a big windup for a tiny punch.

Ideally, this movie should've been handled by someone who had A. directed a martial arts movie before and B. stuck a little closer to the source material (I.E. No white folks. Except Christopher Lloyd as Bumi). The thing about the "racebending" thing though is that I'd have been cool with the cast if they could act, but they really can't.

The saddest thing is that sometimes, you can see how good of a movie this could have been. It could have been the next big movie franchise. Another trilogy to add to the debate. But now, I don't even see how a sequel could work with this movie. There's so little material from which to draw from in this film. Like I said, there's no side-characters, no Ba Sing Se, no nothing.

That's my two cents.

This Post is Gonna Be Pretty JLI-Centric.

Have I ever mentioned that my all-time favorite DC comic series is Justice League International and it's assorted sequels? Because it's oh so true. I bring this up because DC launched a new series starring a good portion of the team as part of it's Brightest Day event. Justice League: Generation Lost written by Judd Winick and Keith Giffen with an alternating artist every week. I've only read the first four issues, but so far I can easily say that this and The Flash are the two most interesting books to come out of Brightest Day.

But JSA was pretty funny recently with Obsidian's joke about being "cured".

I'll give a rundown of JL:GL and a brief review of it so far. It starts off with nearly every superhero and every government agency on the lookout for the recently-resurrected Maxwell Lord. Every hero except Booster Gold, who's been kicked off the manhunt due to the fact that most of the community thinks he's still a joke and that he's too close to Max to think effectively.

But Booster manages to find Max before anyone else does. He finds him in NY, hiding out in the old JLI embassy there. Unfortunately, Max quickly incapacitates Booster. Before he blacks out though, he sends out a distress signal on the old JLI band and Skeets picks it up. He alerts Fire, Ice and Captain Atom. They show up and resuscitate Booster just as Lord uses his powers to an extent previously unseen. It causes the group to blackout and when they awake, Lord is gone and Superman has shown up. He asks what the trouble was and when anyone who was present at the event mentions Maxwell Lord, Superman asks who that is. Max has convinced the entire world that he no longer exists.

That's the first issue. The rest of the series, so far, has seen the group dealing with Lord's alterations to the world. He's convinced everyone that Fire is psycho, that Ice is a menace, and made Captain Atom into a military fugitive. All he did to Booster was make everyone think that Ted Kord, the former Blue Beetle, committed suicide. At the end of the third issue, a contingent of OMACs attack the home of Jaime Reyes, the current Blue Beetle.

The team, sans Fire, rushes to the scene and fend them off, only to wind up in Russia in a botched attempt to follow the OMACs. They find themselves in the middle of a battle between the Rocket Red Brigade and a rouge Rocket Red in a homemade armor. Following the battle, the team realizes that Max has been playing them the entire time. He brought the JLI together once again.

Also, Max's powers have changed. His recent attempts at pushing people have killed the victims and turned their corpses into Black Lanterns.

It's a very interesting story. I hope we get an issue with some art by Kevin MacGuire. It's nice to see the team in a very serious story, but I do miss the humor. I'm also curious as to how much of the story is Winick's and how much is Giffen's.

It's still a great read and actually has something happening in the book, unlike the flagship title of the Brightest Day.
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Also, Kamen Rider OOO looks kind of neat. That's really all I have to say about that at the moment, because I've only seen around 8 seconds of footage and two pictures of the series.

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Next week, there's gonna be a totally sweet (And probably mean) review of The Last Airbender. It's gonna be fun on a bun.

Does Trauma Team Make the Cut?! We'll Find Out! HOHOHOHOHO!!

Trauma Team is the latest entry in Atlus' Trauma Center series. Though this time, the focus is a bit different. Instead of simply doing surgery with the few odd puzzle missions thrown in, in Trauma Team you can play as a wide variety of medical professionals.  Such as:

Surgery: CR-S01, a doctor with no memories who is implicated in a bioterrorism attack
Diagnostician: Gabriel Cunningham. He's kinda like house with bigger hair.
First Response: Maria Torres. Remember Liz from IGPX? Kinda like her, but with an ambulance.
Endoscopy: Tomoe Tachibana. She's a ninja too.
Orthopedics: Hank Freebird. He's also Kamen Rider.
Forensics: Naomi Kimishima. One of the only three returning characters from the previous Trauma Center games (And one of them is just a cameo).

Forensics and and Diagnostician play a bit like a point-and-click adventure game. They're the most different as far as gameplay is concerned. Surgery is pretty much the same as always. First response is also very similar to surgery, just with multiple patients at the same time and less tools. Endoscopy is a neat idea, but I think it handles a bit weird. Orthopedics is usually easy, but it can take a while to do one operation.

My main complaint with this game is a lack of difficulty. I mean, some of Naomi's stages are pretty difficult, but I want some difficult SURGERIES. The other games made me scream in frustration at times, whereas this one (Even on the hardest mode) haven't really presented much of a challenge. In large part, that's due to a lack of "alien parasites" like GUILT, Neo-GUILT or STIGMA.

I sincerely hope this game gets a sequel though. The story was excellent. There were a few unexplained things and dropped plotlines, but I can only hope that's because Atlus is gonna give us a Trauma Team 2.

I'm giving this game an eight. The only thing stopping me from giving it a ten and yelling GO BUY IT NOW, is a serious lack of difficulty.

Oh, and Atlus should really consider making a BlackJack game. Playing as my favorite fictional surgeon and doing insane surgeries (Like removing a woman's entire reproductive system) would be the best possible surgery game.

An Overdue Overestimation

Good God, it’s been far too long since my last blog post, and I now feel both ashamed and a little bit slothful. I suppose my actions were in… BAD TASTE?!?!?!?!?!



Yes, here we have the as-of-2004 definitive Xabungle Chronicle, Bad Taste (I don’t get it either. Does Tomino hate Xabungle now?) in all its’ eight colour-page glory, most of which are spent on an interview with Tomino.




I won’t go through all the pages, and I really don’t want to break the back and scan it (sorry, guys), but it’s pretty standard stuff. Character designs, episode guides, some nice mechanical sketches:



Again, nothing special, and sadly mostly in black and white. I do dig the Xabungle designs, though, so it’s pretty cool. There are a couple of odd/interesting things, including full firearm designs throughout the show (I though they mostly just made ‘em up as they went along):



And there’s also a guide to their travels across Zola, with each point also referring to the episodes it featured in. Fun stuff if you can read moonrunes:



If you have any requests, I’ll see if I can get them from the book, if you don’t mind these kinds of Dutch angles. All in all, an okay buy for someone who can’t read a word in here, but it’s the price that made this brilliant for me:



Less than a quid for this? How could I even think of passing this up? And, in case you do want to search one of these out for yourself, take note that it is Xabungle and Galliar approved.



Funnily enough, these Soul of Chogokin figures came out after the book, so no mention of them. Other things Xabungle likes?

Noriko.



But what he learnt too late was that you can look…



But you can’t touch.



SASURAIGER
SASURAIGER YEAH
SASURAIGER
GOOD LUCK





Next Time (whenever the hell that is) on Ranking Panzer:

ANATA WA GANDAMU

Der Panzer Is Marching to a Con!

That's right folks, there's gonna be some kind of anime convention up in Ft. Wayne, and good ol' Zero, who lives very near there, will be attending.

I've never been to an anime convention before. I've been told what to expect though.... Here's hoping that there's no real creepers there!

That's all for today.

Let's Filming: Iron Man 2 Rocked My Socks.

Iron Man 2 is my favorite movie so far this year. Amazing special effects, wonderful cast and it was based on one of my favorite superheroes.

 The plot: Some say it was too slow in the middle. I didn't think so. All the little nods to the comic were very appreciated (Cap's shield, Thor's hammer, scenes from The Incredible Hulk, the map full of locations of comic characters). The story itself is a mishmash of different plot-lines. Little bit of Ultimates, little bit of Demon in a Bottle. Plus some other stuff.

The cast: Sam Rockwell was a show-stealer. I'm indifferent to Rourke because, as #21 put it, "He looks like a cobbler put him together." Great actor, very strange appearance ever since The Wrestler. Johansson didn't have enough screen-time to make an impression on me. Downey was still Downey (AKA: awesome)

Honestly, I loved this movie. Better sequel than The Dark Knight and not as slow as Spider-Man 2. Not quite as over-the-top as Superman II though.

Marvel Needs to Offer Free Plastic Trinkets With It's Books Sometimes!

Seriously, I rarely by singular issues of DC stuff. But when the dude at the comic shop said, "Hey, get an issue of Green Lantern and get a Power Ring. Get the new issue of The Flash and get his ring!"

I shelled out a decent portion of what little cash I had to get those damn rings. If only DC will do the same for Legion of Superheroes. I'd totally love a Legion Flight Ring. I'd be able to go as Booster Gold for Halloween this year instead of my, admittedly shitty, Jamie Madrox getup. Not like anyone would know who I was supposed to be still. Point is, I want a Legion Ring and I want people to read more. 

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I think I'm "gonna" give myself a little roundup of Jeph Loeb's latest stuff. In particular, Ultimate Comics: X and Ultimate Comics: New Ultimates. I'll start with the former. There will totally be spoilers for these two if anyone's wondering. 

Ultimate X is very much the newer iteration of Ultimate X-Men. Y'know, since the poorly-recieved Ultimatum killed off much of the cast of both X-Men and every other Ultimate book (Save Ultimate Spider-Man characters. Marvel knew it didn't want to cancel and kill off most of the cast of it's only strong-selling Ultimate title.) Ultimatum, and it's predecessor Ultimates 3, weren't well-recieved. I've said that already, I just wanted to make it obvious that I didn't like those two entries. The casts were terribly out of character, the look of the characters was all wrong and it just seemed like an excuse for a bunch of gruesome deaths. A snuff comic, if there is such a thing.

Ultimate X however, is surprisingly good. Aside from one awful page in issue 1 (I can see where James got his claws and all, but the metal? Really? C'mon, you can do better.), this has been a good read. It's got great art courtesy of Arthur Adams and it seems that Loeb has actually decided to acknowledge some of the history of the comic series he's writing for. Which, is what he should have done in the first place, but still. 

The basic premise is this: The late Wolverine's son, Jimmy Hudson, starts to notice he's different. He's a mutant who inherited his father's healing factor, bone claws and animal senses. The metal on his claws may be some kind of trait he inherited from his unknown mother. He's informed of his lineage by Kitty Pride, as per Logan's request. 

Later on, Jean Grey changes her name to Karen Grant. She dies her hair black and brainwashes the people around her into thinking she's lived in this town for three years instead of three days. Just as her boyfriend is about to propose to her, Sabertooth and Mystique show up and kill him and attempt to take her away. She fights back, they flee and she mindwipes everyone around her... again. She returns to her apartment, distraught, and finds Jimmy in there. 

As I said, it's not bad. Not much has happened so far. I'm honestly more excited about this because it looks like (judging from the teaser image) that Bruce Banner's gonna appear in it at some point. Or some kind of Hulk will at least. I'm kinda curious as to what ol' Doc Banner's been up to since, you know, a bunch of his colleagues died. 

The art for this series is good too. I don't think Art Adams can do bad work, you know? It's got a nice kind of sketchy, messy look to it. In a good way.

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As for his New Ultimates? Aside from making Iron Man's armor look exactly like his normal 616 version, I have no complaints visually. Frank Cho makes everyone look great. And as per usual, he puts more work into the women than he does the men. But he also made sure everyone in this looked evocative of their looks in the previous Ultimates series. Ultimate Cap looks like Ultimate Cap, Ultimate Thor looks like Ultimate Thor and so on. Point is, Cho knows how the damn characters are supposed to act.

He even addresses the one thing I thought was weird when I read the initial preview: Why is Son of Satan acting agains S.H.I.E.L.D. when he himself is an agent? Because of Loki, that's why. I have no idea who the Hell Zarda is though. Seriously. So far, she seems to be there just to add to the busty women quota that this book seems to have. 

It's nice to see the Ultimate Defenders get some powers though. I'm gonna miss Luke Cage's vaguely Village People-style look. And I do look forward to the explanation for all of the Defenders' powers, Valkyrie included. I know Loki factors in here somewhere, but still. It's only one issue in right now, so once again, I'm reserving judgement until something actually happens. 

All in all, Loeb's not doing bad. I'd still like to know who the Hell Red Hulk is, but I can forgive him on the grounds that I don't much care for anything Hulk-related at this point. Once Deadpool became a Hulk, I stopped caring. But I don't think he was responsible for that one. 

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Stay tuned next week for my ass-punching review of Iron Man 2!

-Zero

COMIC BOOK CRAP: SPOILERS ON INFINITE BLOGS

First off, a review of Kick-Ass. 

This is a movie based on a comic that will appeal more to the non-comic book reading audience. It's kind of insulting to readers of comics at times (Much like the original comic of Kick-Ass and Wanted were), but it's not a bad film at all. It's excessively violent, got some memorable dialogue and has good acting. 

Nicolas Cage was this film's star. Not Chloe Mortez (Is that how you spell her name?), or Mintz-Plasse or the kid who played Kick-Ass. Nicolas Cage doing an Adam West impression every time he was in costume was the best part of this film. He stole every scene he was there in my opinion. Except that last part where you couldn't understand what he was saying. 

Now, the film does change some things from the graphic novel. Big Daddy's backstory, Dave's relationship with his love interest and the final fight scene. But aside from Big Daddy not being an obsessed nerd like Kick-Ass, all the changes work better for the film. 

Now, I'm not gonna say this was the best movie based on a comic. Or even my favorite. But it was really freaking good. Surprisingly so. Certainly better than Wanted. Not quite as awesome as Superman II or Iron Man though.

I'm giving it a B+. 

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Next up is Spider-Man: The Short Halloween. A humorous stroy by SNL members Seth Myers and Bill Hader with art by Kevin Maguire. It's hilarious. Maguire's art and unique facial expressions made me think I was reading JLI again. 

For those who don't know of it, it's about a case of mistaken identity. A drunk partygoer dressed as Spider-Man on Halloween is mistaken for the real Wall-Crawler by a team of D-List supervillains called "The Furious Five". The members are Mr. Think, think poor man's Leader. Gossip Girl, a girl covered in mouths that constantly bitch and whine and bite. The Haymaker, a man who controls hay. Fumes, a guy who controls gases or something. And then there's Badger Teeth. Hader described him as a "dime-store Wolverine". That's about as apt as any description gets. 

Meanwhile, Spidey was taken by the drunk dude's friends and assaulted by fellow partygoers that his "impostor" had messed with earlier. 

This story was great, but, well, short. If this was two or three issues, it would've rocked. It was just a bit too rushed and the new villains weren't given enough time. Now, I got it in the TPB version and it was just an OK collection. It came with The Short Halloween and some other stories from Spider-Man Family. The Spider-Ham ones aren't so good. Neither are the ones with Aunt may as Spider-Ma'am. The  rest are very good though. Especially the one about Peter attempting to be a crime scene photographer and the one where he first learns that Harry's back. 

All in all, I give this a A-. No more Spider-Ma'am and Spider-Ham please. 

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Bonus review: In Odd We Trust, by Dean Koontz and Queenie Chan. 

First off, I love the Odd Thomas books. It's currently my favorite books series. I'm told a movie is being made, but I think a television series would work much better. Anyways....

The art: Chan drew the stuff. It's not bad, it's just got that plain, faux-manga look to it. It ranges from being really detailed to being so bland it's almost not there. It seems to get better as it goes on though. Her drawing of a Mustang looks nothing like a Mustang though.

Story: It's a prequel, so you get to see more of Odd's lost love, Stormy Llewellyn. It's about a child who's killed and Odd must try to prevent more deaths. The humor and style he has in the novels carries over well. The villain isn't nearly as imposing or creepy as Fungus Man (I can't remember his name), Datura, Brother John or the group from Odd Hours. Would've been nice to see some bodachs or maybe one of the adventures that Odd always references. 

I give this one a solid B. Decent, but progressively better art, OK story, but good dialogue. This is more of a "check-out from the library" than a "buy".

C'MON KOONTZ GIVE ME A NEW ODD THOMAS BOOK. A REAL ONE. 

-Zero

SONO WA CHEAP! GO!!!! BOOTLEG ZA CHEAPO

Let's Merchandise!

I’m a cheapskate and a plastic addict, so where better to go of an afternoon than Poundland, those hallowed halls of cheapness? Similar to American dollar stores, everything costs just one pound! Wow! Sadly, this isn’t always amazing value. While picking up some truly heinous Transformers Micromaster ripoffs, I also grabbed this guy…



Now, I have absolutely no clue what this particular Gundam is. Frankly, he looks a bit made up, though there’s something vaguely G in its’ design (the ears? The head crest?) He’s obviously 00-inspired, though, as you can see from its’ chest jewel and surrounding sections…
Well, that’s what an average Gundam ‘fan’ (if they can call themselves that) would think, but we’d all recognise it as Gundam WINNER from the 1999 one-off 20th Anniversary OVA. The colour scheme selected is impeccable, that of the WINNER Unit 2, using effective red, green and blue motifs, with some silver paint apps. There are also the traditional Katoki-level decal details, with his distinctive wrist designs all decals.



The WINNER is actually just as amazing as he looks. While he weighs nothing- some of Bandai’s amazing engineering at work- he does come with two (three?) accessories he can use, as we saw in the FOREVER WINNING Artbook. First up is the beam rifle. Generic, seen it all before, but rendered in that amazing Ishimoto Green that the designer’s so well known for. We also have his shield, which has a couple of stickers to add to the immense detail on this premium piece. There’s also his head fin, which wasn’t in his head in the packaging- allowing you to recreate Victor’s epic I AM A GUNDAM WITHOUT A FIN speech, and has a revised Anaheim Electronics logo on its’ head, a simple A.



What’s pretty cool is that there are also ports in his arms, so you can mount the shield to the arm, just like in the Gundam WINNER light novels! And, uh, you can also put his gun there.



Of course, the metafictional nature of the WINNER (along with the whole universe of the UC1337 WINNER Project manga) wouldn’t be complete without his finisher, the BURNIN HEARTO, which is activated by pressing the red button on his back, and looking away from the dangerously powerful beam. The metafictional element? First opening of 0083- THE WINNER- has the singer proclaiming she has a burning heart. Makes total sense, right? Anyway, for some reason, I doubt this went through official EU toy safety checks…



But it’s the packaging that really allows this guy to join the same leagues as Kamen Gundam Freedom Knight and Astro Plan. Well, maybe not those two, but it’s still pretty impressive.



We have the Gundam Meisters, the BURNING WINNER logo, three of the 1/100 main Gundam kits from 00, Avalanche Exia art, some information about WINNER’s abilities, instructions for the Burning Heart (it can be turned OFF and NO) and… what’s this?



GOD AND PEOPLE ORGANISATION? Uh, okay. That’s a pretty… interesting interpretation of Celestial Being, as you’d actually have to watch an episode of Gundam 00, translate what you felt about CB in a pithy comment into Chinese, then translate it back.



So, there we have the true WINNER. He may not be the biggest, or the heaviest, or the most articulated… or actually anything good at all, but he’s pretty cool. And I am so going to use him in Gundam-based arguments.

Next time on Let's Merchandise!: Bad Taste? Well, Tomino doesn't seem to hate this one too much.

Hm... I've Bought Nothing Awful This Time. Let's Revisit.... THE 90'S!!

Yeah, this week... I haven't purchased any old movies/games/anime/anything that sucks.

So.... Let's go back on a magical journey and go over my $2.00 copy of Cybuster Vol. 5. Now, this anime sucks. It's got a great theme song though.

It's about Ken Ando who works for the DC. Their job is to clean Tokyo. But, a weird Robot called Cybuster keeps showing up and attacking their robots.

Some stuff happens and Cybuster's pilot, Masaki decides to let Ken have Cybuster. I can't remember which robot Masaki takes, but I'm pretty sure it was Zamzeed. I would go back and watch it, but I can't stomach this thing.

Now, this anime is based on an awesome game called The Lord of Elemental. For whatever reason, the plot of that game was just too cool (Or maybe too much like Dunbine in terms of setup) to use. So, they decided to make a new one with weird versions of the characters and mecha.

Like, it's really weird when they fight the Granzon.... and it looks more like Megatron or something.

And the dub..... If I never hear "ELEMENTAL ROBOT WARRIOR GODS" again... I would die happy. But... they said that every time they talked about one of the Elemental Lords.

I mean, normally dubs use words/terms that are smaller/easier to say. Not huge-ass phrases that are used every damn time someone mentions Cybuster.

The thing is, if they had made an actual Cybuster anime, it would've been awesome. I would've loved to see all the characters and the memorable scenes drawn in that same look all 90s anime seem to have would've been great. It would have been a great part of my childhood.  But no, I play the ROM of the game, find out there's an anime of it and it hurts me. Like a knife covered in razors, it hurts me.

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I'm out of material today.

Later.
Sincerely,
Zero

Heart-pounding first column! Rankarana's shocking debut!

Hey, I’m Rankarana. Or Ranka, but not of the high-score table variety, ohohoho~

This is pretty much just a placeholder. Originally, I was planning to upload my first Bootleg the Cheap column, but an issue popped up with the images, as they were too big for Blogger.

Over a thousand MBs too big >_>.

Anyway, in order to prove that I exist, here's a short introduction (which I'm sure will be basically be repeated later on in my other ramblings). I'm younger than most of the other people both on this blog and in the fandom, which not many people usually get, for whatever reason. I'm generally either very enthusiatic or very caustic, or, somehow, both simultaneously.
I adore my animu and mango, maybe not so much these days, but I certainly make time for series I find great. I love giant robots, which actually really weren't part of my childhood, but they've grown on me in the last three years. My favourite series are probably RahXephon (BAAAW), Astro Fighter Sunred (HAAAW) and, currently, (though I'm still watching it) Kemonozume (GOOOORE)... and maybe Hanayako Maid Team ~La Verite~ if I'm trying to annoy someone.
I'm a big toy collector, mostly of robots, with no real pattern to my collection other than 'that looks cool/is cheap, I'll buy it.' My hobby has somewhat ruined my finances, but was it worth it? ...I'll have to think about that. My large collection of Megazords is also taking up plenty of my living space, but that's life, no? And I do adore good and funky bootlegs. Good and funky, man, good and funky.
I used to be an avid gamer but that's slipped away recently. I'm currently playing the awesome CHOU SOUJOU MECHA MG, which is Nintendo doing a mecha game meets WarioWare. It's beyond incredible, and when you're controlling a transforming ninja form that breaths fire, you do feel like the King, something that Evony never did.
Also, big Kamen Rider fan here. Not so much of other toku, but Rider is better than a Hadron Collider! Especially Ryuki, in all its' grim, child-scarring, battletastic glory.

Well, not much else to say right now, other than showing you awesome Indian Rider action:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKFhiE3NxbI

HERO! HERO HONDA! DHAK DHAK GO!

Hey! Long Time No See! How are things?

http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/1762/gottabeatkanako.jpg


Another wondrous strip by Mr. HBK.


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Today, I'm fielding two game reviews. First up, is Pokemon HeartGold!


This is the best Pokemon game since the original Gold/Silver/Crystal. 


It's got all the stuff that made those games so fun. Daily and weekly events, swarms, a cellphone, two regions. And to make things better, it's really pretty-looking on the DS. There's even CG cutscenes for Ho-Oh or Lugia depending on your version. 


And, even though the titles say "Gold" and "Silver" the extra storyline stuff (Like Suicune's role and Eusine) are here. 


Hell, even the Pokewalker, which I said would be the most retarded free accessory ever, is kinda neat. It's similar to the Wii Fit in that it actually encourages kids/manchildren to run around to train a pokemon and catch some rare ones. 


All in all, I give this game a 9/10.


Oh, and the in-game Arceus event is freaking insane. Seriously, go Youtube it or something. It's beyond weird. 


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Next up is Infinite Space.




This is a neat little gem. Visually, it looks a bit like Starfox 64 (Sounds a bit like it too). 


It's a strategy RPG where you must maintain your crew of space adventurers and travel through the vastness of space. Fighting pirates and whatnot. 


The story is supposedly based on Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke, but I'm not really seeing it at this point. 


The ships look pretty cool though. I don't know who the mechanical designer was for this, but (s)he did a good job on this. 


My only complaint is that sometimes, nothing seems to hit the enemy. Ever. I've lost a few fights because, despite all my customizations to fire control and CIC and the like, I can't seem to land more than a few week-sauce hits. 


I'll give this one a score when I beat it.


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This week was Scott Pilgrim week.


We got a book announcement, a trailer and even a look at the game. 


Best news about the film though? That Beck is doing songs for it. Not just any songs either, one of them is Launchpad McQuack!


But boy, was the trailer amazing. It's easily the most faithful-looking comic book movie adaption ever at this point. 


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I really hope the Sentry goes away soon. Or the Void or Bob Reynolds or whatever the fuck he is now.  He was cool for a while, but now he's just annoying. 


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Here's a new segment I call "RETRO-ASS GAMES".




My first entry is some old survival/horror game from Sammy called Galerians: Ash. It's from 2002 and is for the PS2.


Now, it's the sequel to a game called Galerians. Never played it, but I saw the pretty awesome CG movie version on MTV a few years ago. 

In this game, you play as a drug-addicted ESPer named Rion Steiner. Well, a clone of him who's mind mixed with an AI. It's a bit odd. 


The antagonist is a gay ESPer/AI named Ash. He's also a nuclear fusion reactor. 


Yeah.


The combat is really cool though. You take drugs to boost your psychic powers. You've got electricity stuff, a shield, pyrokinesis, telekinesis, the usual stuff. 


The graphics aren't bad either. A little stiff maybe (Rion's dodge rolls are just awful), but the cutscenes are cool.


Voice acting's OK. But the effects and music are too damn loud. It makes it hard to hear the voice-acting. 


Really, this game is pretty much Akira + Scanners with a dash of The Matrix thrown in. Which is pretty cool. I mean, you pop pills and make people explode with your mind! Why didn't this game take off? Hell, it's even got two guy-on-guy kiss scenes for the yaoi-loving. 


This was an OK game for the whopping $2.99 I payed for it.


Verdict: 6/10


Graphics are good for it's time. Plot's neat, but it suffers from a terrible camera, poor sound design and bad level design. Not too bad of a level design or that bad of a camera, but bad enough to make a dude frustrated. 

Art, 'Tis a Glorious and Wonderful Thing, Is It Not?

http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/2213/itisapurpouslyinasupici.jpg

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HBK drew that up. He's doing strips for Der Panzer (As he has given this blog a nickname as well as art).

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First things first.... I love me some bargains. Two weeks ago, I got all of Cowboy Bebop for $10 dollars. And all the discs work and everything. This week... I got all but the last volume of Nadesico for $7.36. Ah, the days of my youth... Like the scent of lemon. Except, my "youth" is really just like 3 or 4 years ago. 

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Here's a quick review of Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth, since I've actually beaten it now. The game was great. The new gameplay and the logic system really carry this game. It does have some... faults though. 1. Shi-Long needed more screen time. 2. Calisto's voice was terrible. Seriously. Was there a man doing her voice? 3. Fay wasn't a very interesting character. To me at least. 4. The final case really drags the game to a grinding halt. It's a wee bit long, and some of the arguments/testimonies are really friggin' odd. 

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The World Ends With You is the best game I've missed. I really feel guilty about not contributing to this game's sales back when it mattered. I mean, I really dug everyone about this game. Even the almost too busy battles. Also, the soundtrack is now my favorite video game soundtrack of all time. It's even passed Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword as my favorite. 

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They might be making a DS remake of Cybuster. You don't know how long I've dreamed of this exact thing. I've always wanted to play a better version of this game. The ROM was OK. but it never wanted to work right for me. Most ROMs don't want to. So I tend not to play them. But no more! Hopefully. It's all rumors and heresay for the moment. When Famitsu comes out next week, I'm sure I'm gonna scream so loud everyone will here me, because I'm reasonably certain some SRW is being announced at least. 

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The Clone Saga remake was grand. It removed pretty much everything I hated about the original. Also, Ben Reilly's coming back. I don't care what the haters say, I always dug the Scarlet Spider. 

Oh, and Ultimate Comics: Avengers #5 won't appear at my bookstore. I don't know why. I hope it gets in soon.

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Last, but definitely not fucking least: HOKUTO MUSOU IS COMING TO EUROPE. WHICH IS GREAT FOR RANKA AND HBK. But, more importantly, it means it's probably coming to America too. So... I WA SHOCK. Oh, and I'm probably already dead too.

EDIT: Comic was being a bastard. Now it's just the link.

EUREKA!!

There's gonna be another new poster besides Ranka. His name is HBK and he says he's gonna cram my blog with moe. I'm scared.

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Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth is a fantastic game. It's got a hilarious script more cameos and references to the previous games than you can shake a stick at and tons of nice, new gameplay mechanics. Nothing is still as satisfying as yelling "EUREKA!!" or "OBJECTION!!" at the top of my lungs at two in the morning. I'm indifferent to Miles' new sidekick. She's just a ninja version of Maya.

Also, Cammy Meele will haunt my dreams for years to come. That grin... That FUCKING GRIN!!

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This month's Ultimate Spider-Man was great. It finally revealed what the hell was going on with Rick Jones. He can teleport.

And the current artist on Amazing Spider-Man is amazing. His name is Marcos Martin and I just love his art. It really reminds me of Steve Ditko's stuff.

It seems like Ultimate Avengers just keeps getting delayed. Also, please don't let New Ultimates suck. I mean, I know it's probably gonna... But I can dream can't I?
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I'm re-watching Kamen Rider Agito.... I don't remember the first couple of episodes being so boring. I was literally put to sleep by the first episode. That shouldn't be happening. Ever.

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I also started reading Stardust by Neil Gaiman. I've never actually read any of his novels. I've read a ton of Sandman and a lot of his other comics though. So far, it doesn't disappoint. Which is a big thing for me because I normally don't like fantasy novels.

I also want to read Northern Lights/The Golden Compass to see what all the fuss was about. I mean, I just watched the movie and I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't a bad movie at all. Hell, Nicole Kidman was downright scary in it.

A New Ally. Oh, and I'm an Addict.

Well, someone else is gonna be posting her besides me. His name is Rankarana. And he will talk about AM Driver, model kits, toys and bootleg toys. And probably some of the same stuff I talk about (Toku, scifi toys and anime and stuff.)

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OK, first off. I am addicted to Pokemon. I re-beat LeafGreen in just over 24 hours. Now I'm slogging my way through Emerald. Why? Because I'm farming to make a new team. The team I've had since I was a wee lad no longer suits me. Plus it sucked hard. So, I'm working on some new ideas.

Also, there were two new Pokemon unveiled last week that are the first Generation V Pokemon. Zoroa/Zorua and Zoroark. Dark fox Pokemon. Zoroark looks pretty neat. I guess he's supposed to be this generation's Lucario.

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Marvel finally gave us Captain America: Reborn #6. God I love Brian Hitch's artwork. But I hate waiting extra time for it. This was a great mini-series though. Cap and the Avengers VS Giant Android Red Skull was awesome.

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Gundam Unicorn's first seven minutes were put onto the net. A-freaking-mazing. The art was absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait to buy this. It's good to finally have some new UC Gundam.

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I need the Red Frame Kai model kit. Desperately. Mainly because it's the first actual Red Frame variation kit ever. I mean, we get Blue Frame Second L, but no Red Frame Powered? Horseshit I say!

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And, as a sequel to my post about "erotic" manga. I present: Anime porn that was mistakenly put next to Daiguard at the video store. It was called D15. I think.

It was about some lady at college, and, if I read the back of the box correctly, she was neither a she or a he. She.... had a penis.  And the box art.... it was a girl groping a very moist girl. There was a puddle of yellow liquid under her.

WHAT THE HELL MAN!? I thought putting Ninja-themed porn in with the martial arts films was bad at FYE. But damn. Putting something like that next to an awesome anime like Daiguard? I feel bad for any kid looking for a normal anime who accidentally finds this. Oh, and I feel bad for me and my friends when we found this.

Smallville Finally Rocks Again.

First off, thanks to Rankarana for informing me that the "weird full-color lesbian manga" was called Maka Maka. I guess.
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I haven't watched Smallville since it moved to Fridays. But I did watch last night's episode. Man was it cool.

They had Checkmate in it. And Pam Grier (That's Foxy Brown!) as Amanda Waller!

The JSA were cool too. Michael Shanks was cool as Hawkman, but his deep voice was weird.

Dr. Fate's eyes bugged me a bit.

It was nice to see the Martian Manhunter's true form, if only for a brief moment as well.

It was just nice to see some more fantastical comic book elements in Smallville. I mean, we've had some other characters from the comics show up, but the JSA? Now that was a good move.

The overall story was good too. The villain was really lame though. Icicle? There had to have been cooler villains out there to use. Good God that was a shitty, unintentional pun.

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Good God, Xenosaga is boring. I keep trying to play it, but I can't do it for long. I'm 7 hours in and it just hasn't grabbed me at all.

It doesn't help that the plot is so out there it hurts.

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On the literary front, Stephen King's Needful Things is really good. It reminds me of The Tommyknockers  due to the whole "Otherworldly force makes townsfolk insane" thing.

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Robot Damashii Side [YOROI] Daan of Thursday. 'Bout damn time GunXSword got some love.

And not one, not two, but three Side [MS] RX-78 types! Animated series version, modern version and "modified" version, which looks vaguely reminiscent of the version from Gundam: The Origin.

Now if only Side [VF] mecha could actually transform...

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Well, I'm out of shit to talk about. Go away now.

Terrible "Erotic" Manga I Find At The Bookstore.

First off, this stuff is nowhere near as bad as anything I've found on 4chan.

Second off, it's really off-putting.


The first manga I'm gonna talk about is Gay's Anatomy. It was tucked in with the American comics originally when I stumbled upon it. Since then, it's something of an inside joke among my friends.

It's about two doctors who fuck nonstop. I mean it. It's awful. It's..... creepy because it always looks like rape. ALWAYS.

Yes, I thumbed through it. All of my friends have. It's our rite of passage, so to speak.
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Next up is one called "Kimikiss". I think. I may have that wrong, but whatever.

This manga taught me that all soccer played in Japan is co-ed and it looks suspiciously like sex.

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There was one manga we found that was 200 pages or so of gay elf and fairy sex. No plot. Just sex. It was way more graphic than I thought was allowed in a bookstore. Wanna know what manga it was next to? MEGAMAN. It was next to a children's manga.

TERRIBLE.
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Another one we found was some full-color manga about lesbians. It was also really graphic. I can't remember the title at all.

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The sad part is that someone apparently bought the one about the elves and fairies. Someone bought that. Who would want to read that? Who would find that arousing?

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Now that I'm done talking about crappy manga, it's time to talk about some good stuff.

Gundam 00F is one of the manga I'm re-reading now and I still love it. I love Tokita's artwork. I love the mechanical designs too. I even own the Astrea Type F2 from this series. It's my favorite model kit.

Pluto is also a great read. I love Urasawa's works. I could read this for hours. And on occasion, I have.

I also found the old Pokemon Adventures manga that I read as a youth. Good times. I've been going back over it since HeartGold is a month away.

Stay tuned next week for the awful anime I spy at the video store!

Xenosaga. Or, How I Learned to Love Space Anime Jesus and Some Other Stuff.

I got Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille zur Macht for a grand total of $3.33 at a discount video store. Damn, this game has some strange characters.

Space Jesus aka chaos.

Space ROBOT Mary Magdelene aka KOS-MOS.

Why do the Japanese love Judeo-Christian mythology? And Gnosticism? And Nietzsche, Freud and Jung?

Honestly, if this game didn't have a cool look and neat mechanical designs..... Oh who am I kidding? It was $3 bucks for "Over 80 hours of gameplay."

In this economy, that's a steal.

Why does the game have to be so slow-paced though? I've played some games with some long-ass cutscenes but damn. This has some long cutscenes and a strange flow to it.

Combat system is fun though.
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In other news, Kamen Rider Accel has the potential to bring the most homoeroticism to the franchise because another man can ride him around. Two men at once, in a weird sort of way.
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Iron Man was awesome this week. But it doesn't make sense when read with Who Will Hold the Shield? or whatever it was called. That one-shot had Bucky taking over as Cap. But this has Steve doing all the shield-tossing? Maybe it's just because his old buddy Tony's life is in the balance or something? Or maybe I missed something?
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The X-Men shojo manga is the gayest thing ever. Serously. Angel holds Sabertooth by a leash. Not to mention everyone looks like a reject from an awful manga I found stuffed into the American comics rack at the bookstore called, get this, Gay's Anatomy. Yeah. It was a frightening experience that I will save for later.
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Do you know what game rocks? Tatsunoko VS Capcom. Sure, I would've preferred an anime company that had more titles that I had actually seen (I've only seen Tekkaman Blade, Karas, Casshern SINS, and SoulTaker. And SoulTaker isn't even in this game.) We need a Production I.G. VS Capcom or a Toei VS Capcom.

I think it's a bit less fast-paced compared to Street Fighter IV, but this is still a really well-made fighting game. I liked the inclusion of seemingly "forgotten" Capcom characters like Viewtiful Joe, classic Zero and Megaman Trigger/Volnutt.